JONATHON PAPELBON WINS SI SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR!?!?

Sike. And if it was true you can bet we'd find a way to deride the selection. But seriously, that Dancing Fool couldn't even beat out Kelly Osbourne on Dancing with the Stars, or put together a coherent sentence.

True congratulations go out to someone worthy of the adoration SI has bestowed. Five time World Champion. 2000 World Series MVP. Lifetime .317 hitter and he of the 2747 career hits. Always a heartthrob, even a movie star

CONGRATULATIONS TO SQUEAKY CLEAN YANKEE SHORTSTOP Derek Jeter!!

AT

And by reader demand:

***The magic happens right around the 35 second mark.

Monday Morning Pink Slip - 11.30.09

Ooooooooohhhhhh, this is going to be so juicy and delicious. I was all set to expunge choice members of the Jets offensive staff this week, until today of course, when they rudely decided to win a game. Brian Schottenheimer: you're still first on my list, don't worry. You did however buy yourself one week free of my humiliation, so I decided to pick another familiar face: The "Mangenius", Mr. Eric Mangini - head coach of the hapless Cleveland Browns.

Eric, maybe you should try running your own bulbous figure around the block a few times before running your own players into the ground with grueling practices and extra workouts, a regimen which caused your most veteran player, Jamal Lewis, to publicly call you out. Or perhaps you should spend more time creating a unique persona rather than constantly attempting to sniff Bill Belichick's undergarments - did you know Mangini not only attended the same college as BB (and AT, for that matter), but also pledged the same fraternity? Earth to Eric: things like keeping your team's QB plans "secret", acting mysterious with the media, and withholding your star player's injury status only make you look cool if you're a winner .

Not only did Mangini manage to accrue a $25k fine when he failed to accurately report Brett Favre's shoulder injury in 2008, but he also named one of his children after the guy! Zack Brett Mangini was born on Favre's 39th birthday. No, I'm not making this up. Eric also managed to accuse the Detroit Lions of faking injuries in a game he completely mismanaged after leading 24-3 at the half...nice try, fat boy. Mangini has compiled a riveting 24-33 career record; 14-27 discounting his first season in New York, when his Jets cruised to a 10-6 record playing a patsy schedule even the Long Beach Marines could compete with. He also benefited from having Comeback Player of the Year Chad Pennington healthy and under center all year - by the way, any fellow Jet fans missin' good ole Chad yet?

Mangini's fate in New York was sealed after beginning the 2008 campaign at 8-3, and subsequently collapsing so fast that the team failed to reach the postseason for the second straight year. Let's analyze what the clown has done this year: pissed off a veteran leader (see: Jamal Lewis ); failed to reign in his star player (see: Braylon Edwards ); caused the injury of a player while having his team participate in contact drills without padding (see: Keith Grennan ). All while posting a sparkling 1-9 record. Eric Mangini - YOU'RE FIRED!

-BD

We've arrived! and...

"Whats the worst that could happen, Chris Rock sues us and we get amazing exposure."

And so our blog was born. Now go buy this: NEVER SCARED! so that the name makes sense and we can move on to important things. Unless, of course, you're a "victim" of the current economic temperature (or just cheap) in which case, have a look below. Our flagship phrase comes in shortly after the 2:20 mark, but the editors implore you to watch the whole thing...if you like laughter.



Hopefully if CR gets mad and takes us to court, we’ll get to meet him. Maybe he’ll do some amazing stand-up.


-at, bd, bl, cm